French cold wave turned on to me by my boyfriend. However, the best music ever. I feel sorry for people who will never experience this. Which is why I share with you, I don’t want to have to feel sorry for you. Wouldn’t that be a shame.

Somehow I’ve known. Deep down, I knew.

Things were over before they began.

The curse was there before we even knew.

The curse was there before it even began.

One night, two nights, ten nights, go.

Play the game until it can no longer be played.

But you know, that’s me.

Until the wheels fall off.

Until it all goes to shit.

I’ll be there for the end, until the very fucking bitter end.

What can I do? Nothing.

Sit and wait for it all to fall to shreds, as everything always does.

You may think you can love, but can you love?

I want to cry so bad it hurts.

Happy Wednesday. I’m off to slave away for an evil corporation.

I sit next to a space heater, and as it warms me, i wonder,

is it normal to be this fearful?

Does my fear inhibit me?

Does my fear steal from me?

Does my fear hold me down? Perhaps, scare me away?

Does fear rule my existence?

So many questions, yet not one answer.

Swaying in the night

With the orange glow of Christmas lights

The stars few and far between

Behind the bright glow of the San Fernando lights

Our cigarettes glow like fireflies

that sway in the night

Excuse my dramatic mood. Just thought Id share my thoughts on the moment. Cliche, yes.

       I feel so scared, terrified really. I’ve let the wall down and now I am not sure I am able to bring it back up. Or maybe it was never really there. Maybe it was just a figment of my imagination all along, just there to appease my mind.

       I feel so scared. So scared I almost cannot move.

       So scared I almost cannot cry, or talk.

       Or continue on in this dreary world.

       Love is paralyzing in the most beautiful and hideous way.

       The way I feel right now is indescribable in the most frustrating way.

I can feel tears well up somewhere deep inside.

Yet they do not manifest themselves.

They just linger, somewhere inside.

        To torment me, perhaps? Who will ever know? Apparently not I.

Keep moving.

Keep moving.

Keep going.

But why?

So that I will find happiness?

But what is happiness?

Somehow I think Ive found it,

Even now i doubt it.

Is there any certainty in anything, ever?

And if there was, how would one know?

I feel as if the entire human race has read a manual that I never knew existed.

I was wandering around Van Nuys yesterday, and I happened to walk into “The oldest head shop in America”. I took pictures of the things i found interesting. Here is one of many. It says SUB MISSION on the bottom. That part is out of view because I lack photo-taking skill.

I was recently turned on to Black and Mild. This is what I am smoking now, sitting in the yard considered the back. My one life stand (Hot Chips’ ingeniousness) is sitting next to me, and his housemate Chris is genuinely, the Shiz.

That was written last night, while intoxicated. Now, I am in bed. It is 7:08am. The fifth dimensional fractal bird construct is beginning to orchestrate itself. I know this makes no sense to the average person. And to be honest, it made no sense to me when first heard. Bryan is just really smart and intelligent. I make note of him in case he tries to sue me after I get famous and stuff.

I wanted to explain, absolutely nothing. Oh, I guess i already did explain absolutely nothing. This blog, is just a blog. I cannot ask anything more of it except for it to be a blog. But you cannot ask a blog to be anything more because it already is a blog. Furthermore, it cannot take commands. Or requests.

My mad scientist is breathing heavily while in sleep-mode. It happens to be cute. By happenstance. I actually do not know the correct context in which to use the word happenstance. However, I managed to use this word that is long and lost twice in one paragraph. Go me.

I feel as if this blog is long and pointless and I shall stop now.

Oh. Wait! I remember why i tried to make this blog. And here, after much patience on your part, the reason this little piece of garbage exists on the intranet.PikaPika. Action shot.

My favorite Pokenibble is definitely Jigglypuff. Hands down. But Pikachu looks cute here.  That was pointless to even say because PikaPika always looks cute. And on that note, you can either be Tentacool, or Tentacruel. I’ll leave that for you to decide (or decipher).

War and Hate, Functionalists! Carpe…. oh nevermind. I’m repetitive and redundant.